the littlest birds sing the prettiest songs..

one afternoon earlier this summer i bought this cheap-o bird feeder and some bird seed and never really got around to filling it and finally did about two weeks ago..one morning last weekend Gabe and I were sitting at our kitchen table with the back kitchen door open and to our surprise sat 5 or 6 little birds lined up along our stairs railing. not to mention the 40 to 50 sitting, waiting their turn on the electical wires behind them...



apparently i am now feeding the entire neighborhood!

then of course because of the pretty little songs they were tweetin' ...two little kitties start migrating towards the screen door.. to see what's up..



i couldn't do anything but sit back (well take pictures.. too) and just love that little last glimpse of summer...

after the glitter fades

there are the days where i spend what feels like my entire day on the trains or buses. on the days when facebook or emailing on my blackberry, and streaming pandora, and the book i'm reading just isn't enough substance.. i can't help myself but to stare out the window and reflect.. over think and even get emotional sometimes.. (i swear people look at me as i'm weird).. and as i'm sitting there watching this beautiful city pass me by, i start to think whether i'm truly happy. the older i get the more i spend my free time really reflecting about where i'm at. i am so lucky for everything i have in life and I surely count my blessing everyday for the things i have but seem to always still feel lost and wanting more.

i'm a planner. anyone who's ever met me knows that i must know whats going to happen down to the minute and right now for one of the first times in my life i don't really have a plan. and to be honest it's kinda scary. i know what i'm doing tonight.. i've planned out my "gabe and sar-ahhh saturday of nothingness" tomorrow even.. the craft fair on sunday.. planned out what i'm doing for gabe's birthday..and even knew what i'm going to be for halloween months ago.. what the hell am i going to do with my life. schools out..a different apartment.. movings an option..

deep down where do i want to end up?

maybe it is the smaller things in life that i'm missing?

the plan was to always experience living in the big city.. and i almost feel like my experience has run it's course..as much as i love this big city and everything it has given me.. i'm tired... i don't feel like i can keep up anymore.. i want to slow down.


when i was younger it seemed like all i cared about was finishing school, and buying the fancy clothes.. and those new heels and where my friends and i were going out that night. i over looked things like simply baking banana bread for gabe because it would make him smile. playing at the playground with my nephew and niece or spending a sunday dinner with my mom or doing her makeup.. being in the sister and brother in law's theater productions.


i think my glitters fading...

i long for a change..

keep on keeping on...

the more you wonder about things in life.. your ups and downs and why they happen. the only way i've learned how to respond to them.. is to keep on keeping on..

it's not easy being green..

this morning Gabe and I got up REALLY really early (on my ONLY day a this week to really sleep in)in preparation for my bestie of bests.. Doug-A-la to come visit this weekend. So we went grocery shopping, did all the laundry, cleaned up the apartment.. cleaned out the fish tank..let the dog's out.. even bathed.. (all before 2pm- for work) and as i was cleaning out the nasty gross green grime from the fish tank today.. i started to think about how much i truly love my little frog



Miss Stevie Nicks herself..


you know i've had a couple pet frogs in my day.. well to be honest if you know me at all.. i've had pretty much every pet you can imagine (and in large quantities) .. seriously... mice, rats, guinea pigs, cats, sea monkeys, dogs, hermit crabs, hampsters, fish, a domestic butterfly.. (yes.. true- her name was titania) ..and she currently has a tank mate- our goldfish Gypsy- who's equally awesome as well.. (not trying to play favorites here).. and so many more pets i can't even think of off the top of my head right now.

but to the point..



Stevie Nicks here.. is by far the most interesting and entertaining little frog I've ever had.. you see she does these amazing little tricks, flips and turns.



and when she knows i'm watching... even let's me take these lovely pictures of her


and in the words of the real miss stevie nicks (who she's named after.. duh)
from her song: circle dance...



Can't go back to make things right
(though I) wish I'd understood
Time has made things clearer now
You did the best you could

my mamma always said..

count your blessings..
and that sometimes recounts are ok too..

so after the news I got today I'm counting just some of mine...



1. a boyfriend who loves me more then anything in the world.



2. my niece and nephew- who just lookin' at their pictures.. can make me smile.










3. my mom..and sisters and bro.. and bro in law.. all of whom without their love and support- i'd be lost without..



4. the varmits.. who lick my face when they know i'm sad..





5. my bestest friend is coming to visit this weekend..



6. squeezing in one last summer rooftop bbq this weekend with good friends..



7. my garden of which only has 3 beautiful little flowers...

it just makes me sick...

I can not believe it's been since Dec 5, 2008 that'd I have sat down to write in here.. clearly i've been up to a lot.

I can not express how hurt i am today. after the fall out in Florida, packing up and moving back to my mom's basement, and making my way out to Chicago.. FINALLY.. FINALLY I got enough financial aid to go back to school. and you know like normal college students i start my first quarter.. hate it.. love it..skip a class here and there.. write the damn papers.. and then it's suddenly almost the end of your first quarter back and I have to schedule my classes for fall. Well come to find out after meeting with the head of my visual communications department..

There is NOT one class available for me take. well i mean what college would offer morning classes to students?? how crazy am I to think that they would offer morning and early afternoon classes, so I could work evenings. Ohh! but my options are to either take all my classes online.. find another job.. or another school.

I wanna give up..

Here's a pretty happy thought picture for a sad day...